I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
