on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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