just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
