Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize