member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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