You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think i got beer on your cat.
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