Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
