So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
