i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
