It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
