so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
