I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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