there's paper in my vomit.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize