...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
