As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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