farters have to be the big spoon...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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