Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize