Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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