are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
