He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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