She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
