Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize