Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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