just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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