yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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