He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
he just fucked me for my cheese..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
