He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
