i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize