So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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