using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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