Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
