Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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