it was like eating out sand paper
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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