just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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