But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The air was thick with penises
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
