Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
