her vagine was all disorganized.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
