Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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