His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
