She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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