he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
