Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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