Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
