And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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