u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I wish I only lived at night.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
