It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
