Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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