So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
