kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
