ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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