Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
