You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
