i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
