Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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