You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
