I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
