i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
