we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize