Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
