I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
