found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
